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How to Prepare a Letter of Instruction

By Jason Su · Updated September 18, 2026

A letter of instruction is an informal document that tells your family where things are, who to call, and what you want done. It is not a will, it does not distribute anything, and it has no legal power of its own. It is also the single most useful page most families ever receive — because a will tells people what they inherit, and a letter tells them what to do on Monday morning.

What it is, and what it is not

	Letter of instruction	Will
Legal effect	None on its own	Distributes what you own, within the law
Who writes it	You, by hand if you like	Usually prepared with an attorney
Needs witnesses	No	Usually yes, and sometimes a notary
Becomes public	No, unless you file it somewhere	Often, once it enters the process
Its job	Tell people where things are and what you want	Say who gets what
Who reads it	Whoever you give it to	The court and the people involved

Because it is informal, you can write it yourself, change it whenever you like, and keep it private. Because it is informal, it also cannot do the work of a will — it cannot leave anyone your house.

Write both. They do different jobs.

What to put in it

Keep it to a few pages. Plain language, section headings, no legal phrasing.

1. Who to call first

Names and phone numbers. One person, then a backup. This is the line someone will read in a hurry.

2. Where the important documents are

Your will, your advance directive, deeds, insurance policies, and the safe deposit box key. Locations, not contents — see where to keep your will for why the original’s location matters so much.

3. Accounts, and where the logins live

The name of your password manager, not the passwords. Add your bank, your accountant, your financial advisor, and your insurance agent by name.

4. What you want done

Burial or cremation, a service or none, where, and any arrangements already paid for. If you have preferences about donations in your name, say so here. Nobody will guess correctly.

5. People to notify

The list that only you know — a former colleague, a distant relative, a friend from decades ago. Use the People to Notify List as the working draft.

6. What should happen to your online accounts

Should your email be closed? Should your photos be kept? Should your social accounts be memorialized or removed? This belongs here, in plain words, because no provider will ask your family what you would have wanted.

7. Anything you want to say

This is the part that people keep. A page of plain sentences, in your own handwriting if you can manage it, is worth more to your family than any of the administration above.

What not to put in it

Not passwords. A letter of instruction circulates. It gets photocopied, put in a drawer, handed to a sibling, and read by people you did not intend. Record where the logins are stored, and let your password manager hold them.

Not account numbers. Same reason. Name the institution; the numbers live somewhere protected.

Not anything you want to be legally binding. If it needs legal force, it belongs in a will, a trust, or a properly signed directive. A letter cannot do it, and a family member relying on it could be badly misled.

Where to keep it

Two copies, in two places:

• With your important documents — inside the binder or the safe, so it is found alongside everything else. The Emergency Binder Cover Page names the first person to call, which pairs with it.
• With the person you named. Giving someone the letter is what makes it work. It is not a secret document; it is instructions.

If you keep it only in the safe, the person who needs it has to open the safe. That is fine only if they can.

Keeping it current

A stale letter is worse than none, because it is confidently wrong about phone numbers and accounts that no longer exist.

• Reread it once a year. Pick a date you already remember — when you file your taxes, or a birthday. Write the new date on the front.
• Update it when something changes. New bank, new doctor, someone dies, you move. Keep a pen with it and cross out rather than rewrite.
• Do not let it become a project. A slightly messy letter that is current beats a perfect one that is two years old.

What not to do

• Do not put it off until it is “finished.” Write the first section today. The rest fills in over time, and a partial letter is useful.
• Do not keep it secret. A letter of instruction that nobody knows about is not instructions.
• Do not treat it as a substitute for a will. If you own a home, have children, or are married, you need a properly signed will as well.
• Do not write it in legal language. You are writing to your family, not to a court. Plain words are the point.
• Do not include anything you would not want read aloud. Assume it will be.

Frequently asked

Is a letter of instruction legally binding?

No. It does not distribute anything and it cannot override a will. Its value is practical: it tells the people you trust where things are and what you wanted.

Does it need to be notarised or witnessed?

No. It is an informal document. If something needs witnesses or a notary, that thing is not a letter of instruction — it is a will, a directive, or a power of attorney.

Can I write it by hand?

Yes, and handwriting is often better for the personal section. For the factual sections, typed is easier for others to read and update.

Should I give it to my attorney?

A copy is sensible if they are handling your estate. The original should stay somewhere your family can reach it without needing to go through anyone.

How long should it be?

Two to five pages. Long enough to cover the seven sections above, short enough that someone can read it in one sitting while upset.

What if I have nothing to leave anyone?

Then this document is even more valuable, not less. Most of what families need is not money — it is knowing who to call, where the documents are, and what you wanted.

Next step

Write the first section today: who to call first, with phone numbers. That single paragraph is the piece someone will need most urgently, and it takes five minutes.

Then build the rest out over a month, using the Master Checklist as a prompt for what to cover, and record where the letter lives using the free Checklist Builder.

This is general information, not legal advice. We are not a law firm and we do not draft legal documents. Rules about wills, directives, and powers of attorney vary by state — please talk with a licensed attorney in your state about your situation.